Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Come On New York, We Can Do Better!

How is it that everyday (the last two days) I wake up, I'm confronted with news about my state/region that makes me cry out to the Lord for mercy? Don't I live here because it's great and it's the center of the Universe and that allows me to look down on everyone else in this great land, from the tip top of Maine to Baja California? At least I thought that's why I lived here.

Apparently not though, considering I woke up yesterday to find that motherfucking New Jersey became the first state in the tri-state area (NY, NJ and that made up one) to legalize medical marijuana. Sure it's full of cop-outs and legislators are already barricading themselves with language like this:

Assemblyman Reed Gusciora, a Democrat from Princeton who sponsored the legislation, said New Jersey’s would be the most restrictive medical marijuana law in the nation because it would permit doctors to prescribe it for only a set list of serious, chronic illnesses. The law would also forbid patients from growing their own marijuana and from using it in public, and it would regulate the drug under the strict conditions used to track the distribution of medically prescribed opiates like Oxycontin and morphine. Patients would be limited to two ounces of marijuana per month.

Still, it's medical marijuana and it's fuckmook New Jersey beating us to it. It's like when they tried to steal the Statue of Liberty out from under us. Is it on your license plate? No, it is not. STILL HAVE NOT FORGIVEN THAT LAWSUIT ASSHOLES!

Then of course, there's Harold Ford, who I really wish would just walk into traffic while listening to his iPod a little too loud. God, this asshole. Remember how he could only get sympathy from Democrats when this happened?

And now he deserves to be the junior Senator from New York. Despite, you know, not living here for very long considering he ran for Senate in Tennessee in 2006. Even better, it turns out he's a greedy vampire working for Merrill Lynch making at least a million dollars a year. Surely he will have the interests of the working man in mind if he somehow manages to claw his way back to DC. Hey Harold, I know you think you can make New Yorkers think you're Derek Jeter, but it isn't going to work. Why would anyone vote the Yankees starting shortstop into Congress when they have no backup? Not to mention dude's range is deteriorating every season. Just give it up Ford, you make me want to move to Maine and buy a cabin with lots of guns.

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